Friday, January 8, 2010

Guy that runs for a train he can't see

Hey!

We entered the subway station at the same time. Twinsies! Looks like we're walking down the stairs at the same ti...oh no, wait a sec...you've decided to push past me and run down the stairs! What gives, newbestfriend? Oh, I see. You hear a train coming. And there is the *slight* chance it may be your train, so you have decided to run for it and shove me out of the way. You're an idiot for a few reasons:

1- You don't know if it's your train. You are standing at the top of the stairs, close to street level, and have absolutely no way of telling if the approaching train is yours or not. Not only do you have no way of knowing, but...

2- Even if it is your train, there is NO FRIGGING WAY you're going to make it! Are you kidding me? You're at street level and have to make it down one set of stairs, walk 20 feet to the other set of stairs, run down those to the platform and hop on the train. If the train is operating as it normally does, it's going to be at the platform for 10 seconds, max. You can't make this run in 10 seconds.

3- After you in all your "running like there's a madman with a gun at the turnstile" glory push past the 20 other people and you end up missing the train, and everyone that you shoved shows up to the platform, calm and collected, we all think to ourselves "man, what an idiot. Looks like I will be catching the exact same train as he will and I didn't run. Take note, stupid running guy. You're stupid for running." People judge you and then perform small victory dances in their minds, all the while chanting "I'm better than you, running guy!"

In short, don't run for the train unless you're 100% positive that it is indeed your train coming and that you'll make it. And if you do decide to run, don't shove people. One day someone won't be so nice and will purposely try and trip you down the stairs, making you not only miss your train, but also making you bloody.

Hey guy that runs for a train he can't see! YOU'RE A BIG JERK!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Idiots that just stop in the middle of wherever the hell they are

Hey!

Oh uh...excus...get out of...get out of the way.

Get out of the way.

Get out of the way!
GET OUT OF THE WAY!
GET OUT OF THE WAY GET OUT OF THE WAY GET OUT OF THE WAY!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU JUST EXITED A BUILDING/GOT OFF AN ESCALATOR/ARE IN A DOORWAY! GET OUT OF THE WAY! WHY ARE YOU STOPPING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SIDEWALK/SUBWAY PLATFORM/LOBBY? WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? IT IS RUSH HOUR IN TORONTO. THERE ARE PEOPLE BEHIND YOU.

YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD! GET OUT OF THE WAY!

Hey idiots that just stop in the middle of wherever the hell they are. YOU'RE ALL BIG JERKS!