Hey!
You drive a small electric bike/scooter to work every day! Cool! I really think it's great that you're thinking about the environment (at least, I hope it's the environment you're thinking of...maybe you just want to look cool). You and I seem to bike along the same road at the same time every day, and there's just something that's getting on my nerves a little bit...
You never signal. Ever. No matter what you do, you never signal. You have fucking LIGHTS on the back of your bike and you never click them on if you're turning or changing a lane! You don't even need to lift one of your rather large, diamond ring encrusted arms, you just need to flick a switch.
The worst, though, the worst is when you decide to bike BESIDE me while you're slowly passing me, without so much as a bell or horn to say "Hey! I'm beside you!" Fucking idiot! There have been three separate occasions that I have almost run into you when I'm trying to get around a parked car because you feel it so fucking necessary to pass me even though we're going pretty much the same speed. USE A FUCKING BELL, you stupid piece of crap. And hey, PS - your bike isn't cool and you don't look cool riding it. It's not a scooter, it's not a motorcycle, it has pedals...and the fact that you coordinate your outfits and have huge, stupid diamonds dripping off you really makes you look like a douche.
Hey guy that doesn't signal when he's passing me! YOU'RE A BIG JERK!
You drive a small electric bike/scooter to work every day! Cool! I really think it's great that you're thinking about the environment (at least, I hope it's the environment you're thinking of...maybe you just want to look cool). You and I seem to bike along the same road at the same time every day, and there's just something that's getting on my nerves a little bit...
You never signal. Ever. No matter what you do, you never signal. You have fucking LIGHTS on the back of your bike and you never click them on if you're turning or changing a lane! You don't even need to lift one of your rather large, diamond ring encrusted arms, you just need to flick a switch.
The worst, though, the worst is when you decide to bike BESIDE me while you're slowly passing me, without so much as a bell or horn to say "Hey! I'm beside you!" Fucking idiot! There have been three separate occasions that I have almost run into you when I'm trying to get around a parked car because you feel it so fucking necessary to pass me even though we're going pretty much the same speed. USE A FUCKING BELL, you stupid piece of crap. And hey, PS - your bike isn't cool and you don't look cool riding it. It's not a scooter, it's not a motorcycle, it has pedals...and the fact that you coordinate your outfits and have huge, stupid diamonds dripping off you really makes you look like a douche.
Hey guy that doesn't signal when he's passing me! YOU'RE A BIG JERK!
Oh no! you're going to get me in trouble at work! i'm laughing too hard.
ReplyDeleteI had an incident this morning where i saw the intersection i was turning at, and a biker slowly creeping his way towards it. Of course i had a car in front of me oblivious to anything other than their cellphone and coffee (that includes the road and cars around her), and another car heading the opposite direction preparing to turn at that same intersection. as we all collectively mash into this one narrow passageway we are all going (except the biker who wants to go straight), the helmetless, overstuffed backpack wearing fool doesn't even bother to look as he glides through the street to the other side with three vehicles coming towards him with the abiliy to easily condense him into a size no bigger than your common urn. needless to say, i thiank the automobile industry for supplying us with today's best working brakes.