Woman that stares at me while I'm naked

Hey!

We're getting changed at the same time and you can't seem to take your eyes off me! Unless you want to have sex in the steamroom, stop looking at me while I'm naked. It's creeping me out.

Hey woman that stares at me while I'm naked! YOU'RE A BIG JERK!

My achy knee

Hey!

You're part of my body! I never had a problem with you before; you weren't fat, weird, big or small. You were great! You never gave me problems and I even admired the small scar you've been carrying around for 11 years.

Now, though...now you're being a total asshole. I can't bend you without hurting, I can't walk up stairs without feeling an ache, I can't do half the exercises I'm supposed to do because you decided that you don't want to work properly. What the hell?! I thought that doing exercises and losing weight was supposed to be GOOD for you! Instead, exercising has made you dumb. Really, really dumb.

Hey achy knee that has decided to crap out on me! YOU'RE A BIG JERK!

Lady in the locker room that bends over while not wearing any panties

Hey!

We work out at the same time most days of the week and we tend to use the same locker bay! While I try to change politely, you get full-on naked then BEND OVER and start texting into your purse. This leaves your ass right up in my face! Lady, I'm glad that you can be comfortable with your body and all that, but bending over with no panties on means I get a full view of your fucking crack. I don't want to see it! Are you seriously that comfortable with your ass crack that you just want to show it off? C'mon man, this is a public room! I like boobs as much as the next guy, but there are some things that should only be between you and the one you love/are fucking. Have some respect for others in the space!

Hey lady in the locker room that bends over while not wearing any panties! YOU'RE A BIG JERK!