It's 8:30 in the morning! OMG we're both here at 8:30 in the morning! How cool is that right?! You're so happy and perky and you want to talk to me about your kids? Oh WOW COOL! I can't wait to hear another story about how Jimmy had hockey practice! Can we hold off for a minute though? I haven't had my coffee yet and your shrill perky voice is hitting me like needles in my brain.
Here's the thing: you're a 10am person. You're a person I don't want to deal with until 10am because you drive me absolutely insane before I'm fully awake. I feel towards you the way I feel towards an alarm clock; I want to slap you and shut you up because the noises you make fill me with rage and a sense of dread.
I'm a total morning person, but it still doesn't mean that I don't want to make small talk with you before I've had my coffee. Give me some time. Half an hour or so to let the beans do their work and let the sweat dry off my neck from my bike ride in.
And it blows my mind that you don't get it! I make polite grunts but that's about it. I'm pretty sure I've said "oh ha ha I haven't had my coffee yet so I'm not really all there ha ha" and you've just kept going on. Just shut up. Just please shut up and realize that some of us haven't been Go-Training for the past two hours and some of us just want 30 minutes to drink coffee and reply to emails. Please. Come back later.
Hey Chatty Cathy who likes to engage in conversation at 8:30am! YOU'RE A BIG JERK!