Parent that has a stupid-big SUV stroller

Hey!

You have a baby and it's totally awesome! I think babies are great - really, I do! They're cute, they make me laugh, they have soft skin...babies are pretty cool and I'm really happy for you. The thing is, though, that your baby probably doesn't need a huge-ass stroller to sleep, cry and crap in. Come on.

This thing spent nine months curled up inside your body. It sleeps in a crib that doesn't have a lot of fluff around it because it doesn't need fluff, and sometimes fluff can be dangerous. You throw it in a piece of fabric and sling it over your shoulder when you go for a walk. Why WHY, then, does your baby need a state-of-the-art, SUV-esque, more-pouches-than-you-can-handle stroller? Is it for you? So that you can throw shit in the stroller and eventually mess it up like the inside of your car? Is it because the baby needs to have every book, diaper and change of clothes it owns with it at all times? Because believe me, when you take a huge stroller out it gets in everyone's way; on the subway, on the streetcar, on the sidewalk, at a restaurant...everyone has to try and move out of your way because YOUR BABY IS COMING THROUGH. Watch your toes, people, the headlights are broken.

Listen, if you're going for some crazy 10-hour walk through the wilderness where you're sure that you won't encounter too many people, then cool. Take the big stroller. But if you're going to the mall, downtown, or through some touristy location where you know there will be 8000 other people there, take a smaller stroller that won't get in everyone's way. It's common sense and common courtesy.

Hey parent that has a stupid-big SUV stroller! YOU'RE A BIG JERK!