Tuesday, October 27, 2009
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PUT YOUR FUCKING DISHES IN THE DISHWASHER! IT'S RIGHT THERE! IT'S RIGHT BESIDE THE SINK! YOU ARE ADULTS AND YOU WORK AT A HUGE, IMPORTANT, INTERNATIONAL COMPANY. YOU OWN HOUSES, HAVE FAMILIES AND DRIVE CARS. HOW DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANS TO PUT YOUR DIRTY CUP IN THE FUCKING DISHWASHER?! WHAT THE HELL?
Hey people that don't put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher! YOU'RE ALL BIG JERKS!
Friday, October 16, 2009
You’re enjoying your meal! Man, it looks good. What you got there, some chicken? Bread? French fries? Yum-my! And wow, it looks even more appealing when it’s inside your mouth!
Oh wait, no it doesn’t. It disgusts me. You are disgusting. Chew with your mouth closed. You’re in public and sitting beside people you know and respect, so why are you acting like a cow and chewing with your mouth open? You realize you’ll lose friends over this, right? No one will want to hang out with you because you have poor manners. The only way chewing with your mouth open is acceptable is if you were raised by wolves, and I'm pretty sure you were raised in the suburbs. And you wonder why you're single.
Hey guy that chews with his mouth open! YOU’RE A BIG JERK!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
You have a cellphone! I do too! OMG TWINS! Oh, there it goes! Oh. Uh, hey, excuse me. Excuse me, your phone is ringing. Loudly. Excuse…excuse me, your phone is…there ya go, you got it! Oh! No yeah, just go ahead and talk. Oh, um…no, no, it’s nothing, I just didn’t realize Lisa was such a slut. Oh. And she has some nasty rash? Wow. Okay cool. No, no, don’t worry about it. Oh. Oh so you met your biological father yesterday? Wow, that’s pretty intense. He…oh, so you don’t actually know he was your father because your mom slept with so many men? Oh. That’s…Isn’t this a conversation you should have at home? In private? No, no. Go ahead. Sorry to disturb you. Wait, you think your boyfriend is cheating on you? With Lisa? This is…should I not be listening? I’m…wow, okay.
Hey girl that talks loudly about personal matters on her cell phone! YOU’RE A BIG JERK!